1. |
stupid bitch syndrome
04:35
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who gave u permission to hurt me
who let you get a hold of my heartstrings
one things for sure, it wasn't me
who said that u can harm me
toss me around like a pile of laundry
and in the end blame the mess on me
i know that u wont listen, ur not making sense
i got SBS i guess, why even stress if i'm depressed
i'm just a mess, a pile of mesh and human meat
i got SBS i guess. hydraulic press down on my chest
i'll wait for death to steal my breath so i can sleep
i wish things coulda ended calmly
i wanted peace but u brought an army
so now it'll all be pinned on me
i didn't think these things would scar me
kill me again and turn me into a zombie
now there's no way to end my misery
i know u wont miss me, u threw up the fence
i got SBS i guess, why even stress if i'm depressed
i'm just a pest, a tiny speck on ur tv
i got SBS i guess, hydraulic press down on my chest
just let me rest, i wanna go to fucking sleep
and honestly between u and me
sometimes life really feels like a fantasy
a memory, or a fever dream
it's the only way to justify this suffering
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2. |
the depression show
06:02
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what happened to all the mirrors?
shattered spots along the wall
if i can't look at my sadness
how will i know it's there at all?
i know u've heard all about it
but i still feel empty inside
i'm taking pills just to feel happy
knowing happy is just another lie
the doors always lock from the inside
my voice bounces across the room
the curtains block all of the sunlight
so i can pretend to feel the moon
cuz no one ever showed me how to live
and no one's gonna show me how to die
so now i really feel like giving in
i think ill throw the towel in tonight
i really wish i could stay silent
and never bother anyone at all
but when ur thrust into the spotlight
u know everyone's gonna watch u fall
sometimes i feel like a puppet
just a weightless plastic prop
another story that keeps on going
another play that never stops
the doors shut with no delay
there's no sound besides my breath
the curtains part and music plays
the moon can't save me from this mess
cuz no one ever showed me how to sing
and no one's gonna show me how to cry
i'm having trouble living in my skin
i think i'll throw the towel in tonight
i guess i should feel lucky
to have made it all this way
so many others have died trying to get here
why does it hurt to have to stay?
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3. |
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he was tumbling in the currents underneath
speaking to fishes and anemone
swaying endlessly at the bottom of the sea
all he wished for was to float in peace
and its been so long since that faithful winter day
when he jumped into the ocean and decided to stay
down there in the deep he feels the water streams
brushing up against his bloated cheeks
and that's how he likes to be, away from everything
slowly sinking down until hes out of reach
and its been so long since i stared him in the face
but when i try he always turns away
and i know things will never be the same
i just hope he finally smiles for a change
these tears won't show if everything is wet
i hope this isn't something i regret
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4. |
rainy day
02:43
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rainy day, please come back and bother me
sometimes i need shade u see
don't let me see the light
it seems the dark's more bright
gloomy skies throughout the night just seem alright
rainy day, haven't smiled in so long
all i really have is this song
i miss the rain and clouds
i really don't know how
i could ever live without u
rainy day, i can't see with all the sun
my rosey cheeks are going numb
i can't stand the heat
i want to go to sleep
rainy day, please come back to me
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5. |
minds
06:53
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minds, they always lose control
it's something ur soul, you feel like you're missing
i think i know myself, but i cant really tell
i'm always so distant
who can really say why we feel this way
why we're in this mess we made
we struggle with our confidence
because our brains aren't honest with our minds
i can't explain these dreams
i don't know what they mean, but they aren't so pleasant
finding meaning just wont do, i got nothing to prove
so i'll just forget them
who can really say why i feel this way
why i'm shaking every day
i just hope i get help soon
cuz i don't think i'll get used to my mind
holding on to something moving, trying not to fall completely
maybe i just need some time alone...
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6. |
i want to be an ornament
03:45
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feeling my legs start to shake
giving out under the weight
trying to hold all this pain
but it's more than i can take
strung like a butcher display
hung from an insular aid
saw it from miles away
fly and then slowly decay
everyday is today
everything's starting to fade
hearing the curtains raise
one final scene for the play
bury your fears and escape
somebody put out this flame
palms intertwined, hope and pray
that the rope doesnt break
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7. |
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you loom over like a tree in october shedding leaves,
and they call it the fall cuz we drop like a ball
it's the start to the end of everything
the earth will only spin when these feelings finally end
once the memories dissolve and the tulips grow tall
we'll know it's finally spring
u only ever feel what u wish u felt
u stretch what is real to feel better about urself
if all the time we spend is spent in a living hell
then honey, i think things wont end well
it's a special type of pain, one that stops and starts again
i'm just biding my time hoping that it declines
but the wait is making me cave in
the calender's never my friends, and the clock just makes my head spin
i stay up at night fearing what i will find
when i run out of minutes to spend
u only ever get what u put in
some little white lies and ur blood stained lips
if keeping a secret is all that this is
then honey, i think this is it
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8. |
husk
02:00
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i'm sick and tired of being called a pessimist
i know the glass is half full, but it's half full of piss
dont act so blameless, u know what u did
there's skeletons in ur closet and saliva on ur lips
so keep taking pride in ur empathy
i'll just remember what u said to me
i'll just remember how u emptied me
turned me into a soulless entity
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9. |
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hey. what do u mean that it's too late to sing a song for rainy days
hey are u alright, u look so pale, ur skin is white, u need to get away
but i don't think u understand, this year is just another goddamn drag
so i'll just stay inside for now, but it's been hard to hide behind the clouds
hey, u look so down, we need to hang when ur around, i think u need a break
hey don't think too much, u'll be okay, just keep in touch, i know u need ur space
i know that things can turn around, but I keep digging further underground
and soon enough i'll end up stuck, and no one's even gonna even give a fuck
i wanna start over again
i wanna get rid of these hands
i wanna sit still and disappear
i wanna be somebody new
with clean eyes and thicker skin too
i wanna run off and disappear
hey, get on ur feet, don't waste away, there's lots of people in the world today
hey please wipe ur eyes, be glad u made it out alive, ur gonna be okay
but i don't think u understand, i'm only here becuz of circumstance
if i wasn't afraid to drown, i'd probably be six feet under the ground
hey, come with me now, get up and take a look around, the leaves are blowing away
hey i know things suck, but there's always a change of luck, just mellow out and wait
I know that things can turn around, but i feel sick and things are heading south
and if i have to wish for luck, i might as well save time and just give up
i wanna start over again
i wanna get rid of these hands
i want someone to pick me up and tell me that i can
i wanna be somebody else
with no more whistles and no more bells
a simple happy person content with themselves
what's left to gain and what's left to lose?
it's all the same thing no matter what u choose
it's all a game, one giant ruse
u want the key to change but ur still singing the same tune
it's easy to forget that stories start and end
the pages slowly dwindle and the numbers ascend
a picture on the mirror, when everything was clearer
some faces filled the space, but one by one they disappeared
i wanna go to sleep, pretend its all a dream
i wanna go to sleep, escape from everything
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10. |
foe paw
03:44
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cat scratch, sneak attack
claw marks on my back
u had ur little plans
to get the final laugh
but honey, u know me
my eyes never blink
i see all the things
u do when i sleep
i wont go down with ur goodbyes
so pick me up off the ground
and get ready for a fight
u say u have changed
but i see what remains
the headaches from all the days
u lied right to my face
but oh well, what the hell
everything is swell
they fell into ur spell
ur lucky they can't tell
i wont go down, i will not die
i know this place, i've been around
so get ready for a fight
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11. |
i hate u
03:56
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i hate everything about u, i can't stand being around you nowadays
i don't think ill think about u, i'm better off without u anyways
it's a waste of my time to even pay u some mind
i felt so broken last night, but now i feel just fine
i hate everything about u, i saw u slither out of ur cave
i don't think i'll think about u, u died the day i found ur second face
i really tried to stay blind, but u opened my eyes
looking back on our time, how'd i think this was fine?
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12. |
eyes
03:41
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waking up at 5pm
feeling spaced out, laying down on my bed
can't get up 'till the sun goes down
cuz i can't see shit when it's around
that's when the panic sets in, when i realize just who i've been
for the past few years, all these wasted tears
that i poured out just to keep u here
my hands have been looking dry
and i'm losing vision in both of my eyes
these headaches wont go away
they're just another part of my day
back then i had a lot do,
but now its hard to even wanna move
cuz nothing's right, nothing's left
except the noise i hear inside my head
i don't want to go mad, i just want the things we had
but i'll never go back, i'm sick of living in the past
i am spinning down the drain
i feel like i'm insane, somebody help me
why do things feel this way?
i'm trying hard to stay awake
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13. |
goodnite
03:32
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breakfast at night, putting up a fight to stay awake another hour
laying on my side, rubbing both my eyes, its all the same, the dark gets louder
and i just try to pass the time until my will to live's rung dry
heart beats like a drum, i cant help but hum to the beat, a little sonnet
fingers going numb, imitating strums subconsciously, i think i've lost it
i just try to pass the time until i fill my mouth with flies,
and we can try to say goodnight, but i still might see u tonight
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